so funny...must read

> AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES> > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.> > 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.> > 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.> > 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use timer.> > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.> > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.> > 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.> > 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.> > Daily Thought:> SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES: NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.